Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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