somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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