seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Randomize
