You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
