question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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