Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
