i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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