i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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