i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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