i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
