Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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