If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
