marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
