yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
