Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That's how pantless uber rides happen
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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