we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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