clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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