guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
