today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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