I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
