He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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