so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My breath smells like gin and sadness
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
