yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
