she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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