girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
