I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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