we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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