im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
