My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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