i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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