no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
