i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
