He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
