He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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