This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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