I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
