I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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