If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she smelled like a LAN party
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
