was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Randomize
