Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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