I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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