Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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