it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
