I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
