Christians are straight up FREAKS
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
