Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
