Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
