I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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