I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she looked like the before picture.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
