i just had sex bonerless
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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