What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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