Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
